The So-Called Characters

This is an attempt to give as much info as possible about the characters in as little space as possible. It's meant to give the non-viewer a feel for these characters, but will probably be old news to regular viewers or Old Timers. Be forewarned: any extraneous stuff considered interesting is included.

ANGELA CHASE

15-year-old adolescent in search of her True Identity. Used to be close with her parents, especially with her father Graham. Former best friend to Sharon, who has known her all her life and was a fellow Girl Scout. Currently hangs with Rickie and Rayanne, occasionally Jordan. Prone to daydreaming about Jordan. Kissed four times in her life. Hates fondue, worships Anne Frank. Writes poems about greenery for English class. Likes Porno for Pyros, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Stone Temple Pilots, Billie Holliday, R.E.M., Crowded House, The Frozen Embryos, Neneh Cherry, and The Bicycle Thief. Often referred to as "the girl with the red hair." Also known as Angeleka, Angelfood, Chase-face. Was seeing Jordan for a while, but broke up over, er, philosophical differences. Got back together after Jordan gave her The Letter. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High.

PATRICIA (PATTY) WOOD CHASE

Mother of Angela and Danielle, wife and former employer of Graham, daughter of Vivian, and best friend of Camille. A baby-boomer in search of her True Identity. Adopted by Vivian and Chuck Wood. Once tried to find her natural parents. Still has abandonment issues left from it. Went to high school with Camille and Graham, never met him there. Queen of her class, a popular pretty girl who hung out with all the right people. The prom was postponed when she had her appendix out, according to Graham. Had a roommate in college who died of a drug overdose. Formerly involved with bad boy hog-riding Tony Poole, but chose Graham to make a life with. Currently runs Wood and Jones printing, which she took over after Chuck took ill.

GRAHAM CHASE

40-year-old Baby Boomer in search of his Place in Life. Father of Danielle and Angela, husband and former employee of Patty, older brother of Neil. His mother is dead. A Deadhead, aspiring chef, near-adultere, wallpaper expert, and constantly-befuddled "In-touch-with-his-emotions" Dad. Was tight with Angela before her breasts came between them. Still outdistanced by his wife's intelligence. Fired from Wood and Jones Printing for his own good. Missed Angela's birth because he was stuck at the airport. Was unemployed or semi-retired for a while, then taught an intermediate cooking class for continuing education. Currently risking it all to open a restaurant with that Hallie Lowenthal person.

DANIELLE CHASE

Perpetually unnoticed 10-year-old Chase daughter. A Girl Scout in search of someone to buy her cookies. Once had a crush on Brian, and apparently still does. Does a great impression of Angela. Excels in gymnastics, talking without people hearing, and generally being invisible. Most likely to be kicked out of the room for no reason. May actually have a love life at school, with some kid named Ryan. Currently a student in a school somewhere.

SHARON CHERSKI

Perpetually perky wearer of pink. The school good girl. Daughter of Camille and Andy, ex-girlfriend of Kyle, and former best friend of Angela. Has known Angela all her life, surviving Girl Scouts and her tonsillectomy together. Oboe player, yearbook staffer, World Happiness Dance organizer, Teen Hotline volunteer, after-school tutor. Voted Best Hooters in the sophomore class. "Miss Perfect," she even flosses after meals. Made up with Angela after Andy's heart attack. Friends with Rayanne, though neither wanted to admit it. Likes Buffalo Tom. REALLY likes Brad Pitt. Lost her virginity to Kyle. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High.

RAYANNE MARIE GRAFF

Daughter of Amber, best friend of Angela and Rickie. Her father split when she was very young, but occasionally writes to her, mostly to send $$$. Can't take care of herself but watches out for Rickie and Angela. Shows up for classes she's not in. Voted Most Slut Potential in the sophomore class. Weakness for scumbags, security guards, and guys who generally make us cringe. Afraid of the dark. Takes to liquor like Virany to Skittles, but won't remember a thing the next day. Had her stomach pumped after near OD; lived clean and sober for more than 33 days, then fell off the wagon after disastrous attempt at singing lead vocals for Frozen Embryos/Between Names. Won the lead role in "Our Town" but lost Angela's friendship when she and Jordan got sloshed and ummed... in his car. Likes Sesame Street and the Grateful Dead. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High, until someone starts taking attendance.

BRIAN KRAKOW

Resident school genius and likely future-valedictorian. Surprisingly perceptive, but a complete dufus in all-important extracurricular matters of the heart. Jewish. Behavioral psychologist mother (Berniece) and Freudian psychiatrist father (Bob). Older sister is married and lives in Denver. Yearbook photographer, school band's flute and sax player. Social outcast, and not-so-secret admirer of neighbor and long time acquaintance Angela. Has known the Chases' since he was 5. Left-handed. Doesn't know where the Pleasure Center is. Only person who seems to do the assignments. Bonded with fellow outcast Rickie, spent a night (so to speak) with Rayanne, and blew a good thing with Delia. Tutoring Jordan in English, and in return being tutored in the art of getting girls' phone numbers. Ghost-wrote The Letter Jordan used as an apology to Angela. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High taking calculus and a triple minor.

ENRIQUE (RICKIE) VASQUEZ

Resident homosexual romantic. Best friend of Angela and Rayanne, good friend of Brian. Once had a crush on Jordan, and is still somewhat interested in Cory. Half Hispanic and half Black. Tries to protect Rayanne from self-destructing. So sensitive it hurts (and so do we). Knows a lot about sewing. Used to live with an abusive uncle he considered his father. Has a tendency to get beaten up but won't talk about it. Devout Catholic, great dancer, southpaw, and drama club member. Loses his voice when really nervous. Spent Christmas temporarily homeless, then with the Chases after his uncle kicked him out. Family moved away without telling him or leaving a forwarding address. Admitted his homosexuality for the first time to Delia. Found his home at Mr. Katimski's apartment. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High.

JORDAN CATALANO

Resident enigmatic loner. Left back two years, probably due to his difficulty reading. Part Italian. Interested in Angela. Ditches virtually every class but PE and shop, and now English. Sings, plays guitar, and writes songs for The Frozen Embryos, which -- now Tino-less -- is known as Residue. Really loves his car. Can get you a fake ID. Smokes, leans, and blinks with the best of them. Used to get a beating from his father before he fought back and threw a chair at him. Tutee to Brian "Brain" Krakow. A "rudimentary reader with low literacy skills." Has an extremely hard time expressing himself, especially to Angela. Lost Angela when he ummed... Rayanne, but (temporarily?) won her back using The Letter written by Brain, er, Brian. Currently a junior at Liberty High.

CAMILLE CHERSKI

Mother of Sharon, wife of Andy, best friend of Patty. Has known Patty forever. Close to Sharon, even did that Mother-Daughter fashion show thing together. Into handcuffs and sex videos. Doesn't trust that Hallie Lowenthal person.

AMBER VALLONE

Free-spirited, appetizer-loving, ex-hippie mother of Rayanne Graff. Reads Tarot cards and didn't lose any sleep over Rayanne's "casual" drinking and drugging before the near-OD. A Deadhead and one-time wharf rat. May have given up a baby in a past life. Once served a BLT to Bob Dylan. Secretly dreamed of having a daughter in the school play. Currently working as an X-ray technician and dating Rusty, a fellow Earth tone and Vietnam vet.

KYLE VINNOVICH

Football jock and ex-boyfriend of Sharon. Dates girls for their smiles, not their hooters. Recently admitted his love for Sharon.

NEIL CHASE

Ne'er-do-well younger brother of Graham. Unmarried, and by the looks of things, is bound to stay that way. Relationship with Marla has been on-again/off-again for 6 years. Gives Danielle stupid gifts.

CHUCK WOOD

Father of Patty, husband of Vivian. Quit Wood and Jones Printing when he had a stroke in 1992. Ran the business for 30 years. Currently "retired" and dodging the IRS.

VIVIAN WOOD

Mother of Patty, a.k.a. "The Empress". Doesn't like to fly, but likes oregano.

HALLIE LOWENTHAL

Student in Graham's cooking class. Completely uninhibited and free-speaking. Formerly engaged to rich guy Brad, who suggested she take classes because she can't cook worth a damn. Incapable of parking legally, speaking quietly, or arriving on time. Sells advertising time, but about to get a restaurant (among other things) started with Graham.

DELIA FISHER

New student at Liberty. Friend of Sharon's. Yearbook staffer. Had a crush on Brian before he dumped her for a chance with Angela. Currently has a crush on Rickie, even though she knows he's gay.

RICHARD KATIMSKI

a.k.a. Mr. Katimski, the new English teacher and moderator of the drama club. Master of... strange pauses mid.......sentence. Gay, and afraid to risk his job and reputation by coming out. Gave up coffee as his New Year's resolution. Admittedly dorky.

CATHY KRZYZANOWSKI

a.k.a. Miss Crazy-nowski. Guidance counselor. Also, Rayanne's drug counselor and one-time English class substitute. Tried to help Rickie find a home.

THE CHASE FAMILY CAT

Of the variety Felis invisibilus, the cat has been mentioned but never actually seen. Currently living somewhere in the Chase residence.

TINO

The Guy to Know at Liberty High. May or may not be a student. Throws big parties. Friend of Jordan. Has yet to be seen in an episode, though his presence is always felt. Recently quit post as lead singer of The Frozen Embryos. According to Rayanne, not a dependable guy. Currently somewhere, doing something, with someone.

MS. RENEE LERNER

Angela's geometry teacher, who subbed for English until Mr. Katimski was hired. Dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi for Halloween (though nobody got the joke). Was interested in Mr. Katimski. (Was "Mrs. Lerner" until 1.9 when she was listed as "Ms. Lerner.")

MR. FOSTER

Principal of Liberty High. Not a man to be trifled with. Discipline is his middle name, yes sir!

MR. DEMITRI

Social studies teacher. Teaches U.S. History. According to Angela, he's incredibly boring. He looks like it.

MS. MARIAN CHAVATAL

The biology teacher. She's the one in the lab coat, explaining how to cut open your heart.

MR. RINALDI

Spanish teacher who substituted for English class in "The Zit" [1.5]. Read Kafka's The Metamorphosis to the class.

MS. MAYHEW

The English teacher and yearbook moderator seen only in the pilot. She quits her job sometime after that, and the havoc this causes is seen in later episodes.